Monday, September 29, 2008

A Dear John Letter

I don't really have a theory on what happens when a person is about to die. I haven't studied divinity, theology, or even philosophy. However, I am a whore of the moving image. I have seen a lot of movies, and I watch a lot of television. In this research certain things are clear....

If you are pregnant and you are anywhere near your due date, keep out of elevators. The thing will certainly get stuck and your water is gonna break. If you are real lucky, Brandon Walsh is in that elevator, he's been there.

For sure, before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. For this very reason, I am afraid for John McCain's mortal soul.

This man spent his career as a senator actually trying to do what he felt was the right thing to do, and he is throwing it all away. Now, he is reversing his positions to pander the religious right, and flip floppin' ain't maverick. Didn't these people hate him not that long ago? He is throwing out his integrity for a JOB, and it makes me so sad for him.

I've got to believe that somewhere in the back of his mind that he's just so tired of all it. Sarah Palin, really? What do you think? Are they really soul mates or is it the political Viagra she slipped him?

I just have this feeling that whether or not John McCain breaks loose these earthly chains having been President or not that he, too, will have to face these demons. I hope his psyche holds out until then, because no matter how powerful the position might be, no job is worth throwing away your beliefs.

Also, Senator McCain, why don't you tell Menopause Barbie to cool it with the Botox. Cindy is looking a little plasticine.

Love, Ash.


Tour de Franny said...

Ash! I love the way you write. And the way you look but that's another story. Can we have shirts that say flip-floppin' ain't maverick. And they can have an illustration with Cain and Palin as a dopey Roy and ginger Rodgers? She can be holding a gun, putting on lipstick and he can be trying to get on a horse wearing flip-flops.

Patrick said...


Rachel said...

Menopause Barbie!!! I love it. Mom picked up on someone else's Caribou Barbie and only refers to Palin as that.

Sarah said...

John McCain has a really good lawyer... Sarah Palin's shotgun.

-Stephen Colbert